Great Gatsby Theme for Graduation Ball 2014! So stoked. :>
With Vena Contracta (c) Dada Briones
I want to go back to the first time we met. I remember everything so clearly. I know I’ve told you the story for so many times already, but I don’t want to be the one to forget.
We weren’t suppose to meet. It was my then-boyfriend’s birthday and I wasn’t in the mood for waiting for his text. I never really planned on attending UP AChES’ first semester orientation, but seeing that I had nothing else to do, I went to the orientation with my blocmates. It was then I met you. You just came from your badminton varsity training; you were still clad in your red Adidas jersey and badminton shorts, your training bag slung over your shoulders. Under the dim light, I tried to make out your face but I just couldn’t. I was rushing to get back to my dorm since I left my phone behind but I couldn’t since I was waiting for Dan to finish talking to you. A lot of other members were talking to me, too, asking me if I’m going to join the organization that semester. Then Dan went to talk to someone and we were left there, standing awkwardly. We made small talk, you asked for my number (according to your story since I can’t remember how you had my number) and we got off from there. On our way home, I asked Dan who you were, he said your name and I said “Ah, siya ‘yun?” because you looked so familiar from FaceBook.
You started texting me, but I had a boyfriend back then. I know I replied to some of your messages but couldn’t really remember everything.
Months passed our paths once again crossed. If it weren’t for my high school friend (and sis), we may not hit it off back then. But you weren’t aiming for me, then… you were going for her, which was okay because I really didn’t care. I saw that she was happy when she told me about you but she was hesitant to give her number when you asked it from her. Of course I had your number so I did something that would forever not change her life, but mine… I got her phone, placed your number and texted you. That was the start of your story.
My boyfriend and I broke off. You were having troubles with my friend so you started asking help from me via Facebook. Maybe I got irritated since you kept on asking me for help, but not irritated enough to completely shrug you off.
We don’t see each other every time around the campus though we have probably crossed each other’s paths, not minding one another. Or sat on the same chair, or waited under the same waiting shed… but we never really noticed each other.
Second semester came and I finally had the guts to join your organization. After our presentation to the whole body, you held out your hand for me to high-five (wtf right hahaha) and asked me if everything went fine. Even though you weren’t the one assigned to help me through the process, you helped me and even volunteered to make my tickler. Then when I was sick during the process, you offered to bring me medicine but I went against it.
I don’t know how it all happened. But what made me really notice you was when this jerk from last December lied to me big time. It was three in the morning of December 26. I don’t know why I texted you, but I remember not expecting you to reply. You asked me what happened and I said, “Niloko niya ako.”… Then you called. I just ranted for 10 minutes over the phone, just wanting to let it all out.
I had no idea why you called. I was so naive to never notice it back then. Writing it down now, though, makes everything clear now.
I’m glad your relationship with my friend didn’t work, I’m glad my supposed relationship with that jerk didn’t work… I’m glad that finally our timing came in right.
So now I don’t know why I deserve this.
You’re amazing. I don’t know how you could put up with me and my tantrums, rants, etc. You don’t know how much I appreciate everything you do for me - for calling me every time I’m late for class, for going to my dormitory just to check if I took my Chemistry finals, for teaching me Math (and I passed!!) at McDonald’s until three in the morning while I just whine there, wanting to give up….
I’m not much of a steady person but I’d like to tell you that I thank you for all the sacrifices you’ve made, for never failing to understand even when I cannot understand myself and most of all, for staying the whole time.
I’m glad you like We The Kings too, I’m glad we’ve finally find the right time for us.
Just because I’ve “changed” doesn’t mean I’m still the old me.
It hurts when a friend wouldn’t talk to you because you’re not the same old person he knew from before. Well maybe they’re right, maybe I did change. I’m just not sure if it’s for the better.
The truth is I am torn. I am happy with how my life is going right now but then I know I’ve hurt some people.
The truth is I am not so used to people being around all the time. And I guess right now, I just want some time alone. I miss handling my own time and my own responsibilities. I know that when I committed to this, I accept everything that goes with it. But right now, it just gets so tiring. It made me think that I shouldn’t have been so open to people so they won’t get weirded out when I don’t open up to them. Idk. Maybe this time I’d like to take care of my own problems and not be a burden to others. But meh, I guess that isn’t likely to happen right now.
Can I just crawl under a hole and live there forever?
Oh God, I don’t know where I should start.
This semester was probably the best semester I ever had ever since I entered college. I realized that I cannot survive college alone and that it is more fun when you have your friends with you.
Four months of school is more than enough for me to change. I know I changed for the better, and for the worst too. Idk, even though I had all this new realizations, I have to look back, know who I really am, what I really want to do and all those kind of stuff.
1. UP Alliance of Chemical Engineering Students (UP AChES)
I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW HAPPY I AM TO BE WITH THIS ORGANIZATION. All the sleepless nights during our process were worth it. I am so glad I didn’t quit; if it weren’t for the people who supported me and believed in me, I wouldn’t be here where I am today.
AChES gave me opportunities wherein I hosted two events, performed at DL Umalis (!!! still cannot get over this), was able to be a part of Shell Ideas 360, a global competition, learn how to do financial shiz for our quiz contest and how to motivate/inspire others and be motivated/be inspired by them too.
I realized that surrounding myself with people who takes the same course as I do made me strive harder to do my best in my studies… to never give up. And seeing how passionate these people are in this field of engineering makes me want to love my course even more. Even though I still have doubts if I could make it, I know I will forever be inspired by my brods and sisses. :)
2. Samahang Busko - UPLB
They have been nothing but supportive when I was an applicant for AChES. I didn’t want to quit because I don’t want others to think that Bosconians are quitters… and this thought was instilled by my Busko family. Busko grew more than ever this semester and I am glad that I have found friends in them. It is always nice to have someone you could talk about your high school life and the issues in Don Bosco (HAHAHA).
I am pretty sure that next year I will be more committed to Busko since they have entrusted me to be their Membership Committee Head/Vice President. I don’t want to let my family down. :)
3. My blocmates
I’ve been with them ever since new freshmen days and I am glad that after two years, we are still together. I am happy that having different organizations was never a problem between all of us.
Even though most of them are still on time, ma-dedelay din sila. HAHAHA jk. Even though most of them are still on time, I know that we can graduate together. :-)
4. Two years of living with my roommate…
This is a milestone, guys. HAHA. Idk if it weren’t for my ever-so-supportive roomie, I’d be nothing.
You came at the later part of my semester and yet you managed to do such a large impact on me. Ikaw ang tumatawag sa akin non-stop tuwing natutulog ako in between my breaks… you make sure that I get to class on time or kahit late pwede na. Ikaw ang naghahatid-sundo sa akin sa classes ko even if I don’t ask you to do so, ikaw ang nag-stay up late para lang ma-make sure that I do my academic works. At dahil nag-finals ako ng Math 37, ilang oras mo akong tsyinagang turuan ng IBP dahil hirap na hirap ako… and for all of these and more, thank you. :)
6. Vena Contracta
Vena is such a huge part of my semester simply because they are my batchmates. They are the ones who I was with during our application process and I could definitely say that they never left me behind. Kahit na tuwing monthsaries lang kami nag-didinner, I will never trade these guys for anything in the world. Wala akong idadagdag, wala akong ibabawas. :-)
+ Marlowe hehehehe
6/17 units passed!!!! 11 more to go. I AM CROSSING MY TOES AND FINGERS THAT I PASSED EVERY SUBJECT WITHOUT HAVING TO REMOVE ANYTHING (A.K.A A GRADE OF 4.0).
Overall, I am thankful for this wonderful semester and for those people who made it so. :)
I started blogging way back when I was in grade five. I used to use Blogger back then. I’ve been using Blogger as my blog host since I feel like it’s too sentimental or something… so it was really hard for me to move here on Tumblr. But I am so glad I took the risk of moving here on Tumblr.
Now, I’m celebrating my blog’s first anniversary. Can’t believe I retained this blog for over a year now. And gained not only those 10,200+ views but new friends and learnings from their stories as well.
If you’ve been reading this from the start, I started this when I had my then-boyfriend. This blog witnessed how we were back then, how he met my friends and our stolen-from-reality dates together and how we ended. Afterwards, I’ve written how hard it was for me to move forward. This blog witnessed my lowest moment. Months after, I tried to regain myself by keeping myself busy… affecting my academics in the process of doing so. Then came second semester wherein I blog my not-so-lucky moments with SystemOne once again. But after then, it got better. I somehow managed to redeem myself. I kept myself occupied (but this time, giving time for my acads) by being active again in Busko and by joining a new organization.
I’ve had my share of rants and dramas and late night blogging posts here. And yes, these are all tagged under their respective categories.
I am thankful I wrote what I felt during those times so I could read it now or some other time in the future to remind me how I really felt (and how I don’t want it to happen again).
This year, a year after I made this blog, I want to open a new chapter in my life. And I’ve been writing about it for quite some time now.
The thing is, this blog had been a huge outlet and support for me. From all those anons and new friends I made, I didn’t really expect those. And for those people who say that I inspire them by this, I don’t see how I do that just by writing about my life but thank you so much.
Thanks, Tumblr! More years for the both of us, eh? :-)
I hope you remember this feeling, Jessa. This feeling of uncertainty, confusion and doubt.
Awww. Thank you so much, sweetie. >:)<
I take the long way home most nights.
Unwilling to return to a home that would be sought after by many.
But the night air doesn’t taste right here.
Have you ever felt that your life was a fraction off?
Maybe you were born ten seconds too soon.
Maybe you don’t belong anywhere.
- s.z (Off)
Gusto kong isipin na tungkol sa special na mga bagay ang mga sinusulat ko. :-)